Batkid is not a hero.

Posted: November 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

Many people all over the internet are “ooh”-ing and “ahh”-ing over the latest “superhero” activity in San Fransisco, where alleged “Hero”, Batkid, “saved” a damsel in “distress”.

But seriously, people, how can you all be so BLIND?! This kid isn’t even a REAL SUPERHERO! He has NO formal training WHATSOEVER! I mean, LOOK AT THIS KID! I could punch through his armor in three seconds, with my LEFT HAND, and I’m not even left-handed.

I just don’t get it, I mean the thing was obviously staged. What sort of moronic evil genius just leaves his victims tied up in the middle of downtown San Fransisco, in the middle of an ENTIRE CROWD OF ONLOOKERS. This whole thing puts a bad taste in my mouth. This kid didn’t do anything to deserve being called a hero. He didn’t suffer the agonizing, brutal, years-long training sessions that I suffered. He didn’t spend THOUSANDS on research and development of the perfect suit of armor to protect him from the forces of evil.

HE’S NOT EVEN FIVE-FEET TALL.

It should’ve been me… I should’ve been the hero… this is stupid.

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